His middle name is Patience

This is Ruby playing with our dog, Zak. Both she and Lily think that he is the coolest, funniest yellow hairy house beast EVER. And Zak thinks they are the best Cheerio dispensers he's ever seen.


Buddies

Canada's Most Noneventful Home Videos

Here are Ruby and Lily this week, at 9 months old, in all of their chubby, mohawked glory.
Also, Piper sings to Lily as she almost flips her out of her swing.
We always use our seatbelts here, to avoid babies flying all over the place.


Ruby & Lily



Piper

This is me, not posting.

This is how it goes. I give myself permission not to post, and it brings out the compulsive blogger in me. Never fails. I think I will start out every month from now on by declaring this blog dead. Done. Kaput. That should keep me on the right track.

My mother in law gave me a fantastic book by Gymboree called "365 Activities you and your Toddler will Love". And we WILL... once we get a chance to do all of those things, say, in 38 years or so. I was flipping through the activities, thinking, "Hey, we do that! Oh, we've done that, once. Well now, I was GOING to do that one! Er, she would really love that. Hmmm, I wish I could get organized enough to do that. Lord, THAT is too messy, time consuming, intricate, etc..." Then I got all overwhelmed and feeling like a boring, neglectful mother, so I set the book on fire and threw it in the sink. ( Not really.)

I am going to write a book like this, but it will be called, "The Bare Minimum- How to Keep your Toddler from Starving to Death or Rotting in her Diaper- and 7 Activities that may Also be Fun, and will only take 4 minutes, so you can Go Surf the Internet." Too wordy of a title, you think? Maybe I will just call it- "The Asshole Mother's Handbook." A must read.

All 3 of the girls woke up at 5:30 this morning, which is about 3 hours earlier than normal, and 6 hours earlier than I would prefer. As Ruby was shrieking at me to pick her up and play, I was thinking about how good she's got it. She sleeps whenever she wants, and has all of her meals prepared and fed to her by her Personal Chef (me) whenever she wishes, at any ungodly hour. She has an entirely new wardrobe purchased for her every 3 months, as she outgrows the previous one. She doesn't need to try on a single stitch, as her Personal Shopper ( me) knows all of her sizes, and will drive 12,000 miles around the city to put the Royal Wardrobe together. She steadily gains weight every single month, and is given nothing but praise and adoration for this. Good girl!!! She receives rave reviews for everything she does. Did you pull off your sock? Who's mommy's clever girl? What? She burped? Oh MY! Send in the clowns! And LOOK IN HER DIAPER! OH MY GOD, SHE POOPED!!! What a genius superstar! Today shall be declared National Poop Day!! Cue the Parade!!!!! Honey, look how mommy has the fireworks spelling out your name!!!!

I've been having a good blog week- just feeling really inspired by reading other people's thoughts, loving all of my readers here, and enjoying meeting some new people. I've been emailing with a lovely Maritimer named Kate, who recently found out that she's expecting twins. She kindly asked me for some advice, probably not realizing the Pandora's Box of Verbal Diarrhea she was unleashing. She'll probably have to change her email address soon to shut me up. It just made me realize how much I'd love to have another mom of twins friend to bounce ideas off of, and to bore with all of my ideas, worries, and questions. Thank God for the internet.

Speaking of which, Ruby and Lily turned 9 months old yesterday. And things are going well. I never thought I would make it this far, and I HAVE. I'm still double breadstfeeding, which I thought would be impossible. Everyone seems happy and healthy, and talking and crawling, and unbelievably hilarious and cool. I can't even talk about it any more, because I'm afraid of jinxing myself.

I could go on and on, but instead, I think you should go read a few new blogs that clever Tina has discovered- they are MAGNIFICENT!!! For some reason, I cannot link anymore, but if you mosey on over to Gallivanting Monkey, she has linked to Petite Hiboux, who reminds me of Tina's style a bit, and Dalai Mama, who can talk about parenting like nobody's business. She has already made me cry this morning.

We've been videotaping the kidlets, and I'm working on getting some clips to post here.
See you in 5 minutes.

Me, me, me, with a twist of me.

I always enjoy reading those "100 things about me" kind of lists, so I'm going to be very self indulgent here, and throw one together. I will spare you, and only do 20.


1. I am a natural redhead, I'm not sure which shade.

2. I once sold a painting I did for $500. It was the first oil painting I'd ever done.

3. I once had a knife held to my throat by a psychotic ex-boyfriend. Ah, good times. My taste in men has vastly changed.

4. I love cookies, except for oreos, who have some nerve even calling themselves cookies. They are black cardboard circles with cheap icing in between, and it pisses me off that they are so popular. Don't call me, oreo, and I won't be calling you. I don't care if you have QUADRUPAL stuff.

5. I always thought that I would have twins, until I became pregnant with twins. Then it seemed ludicrous.

6. Eve is actually my middle name. In Grade 5, I decided I liked Eve better than my first name, and told everyone to call me Eve from then on. They did. Go figure. ( My first name is Dominique... Miss Jackson if you're nasty.)

7. I have held over 30 jobs, and lived in 10 different cities. I've probably moved over 50 times in my life.

8. I am French. Bonjour! I was born in Quebec, and my mother's side of the family is completely french speaking. I barely speak 20 french words now.

9. I am the oldest of 3 girls, and I now have 3 girls.

10. I always have to stop the microwave timer at either 11, 7, or 3 seconds. It used to be 2 seconds, but now it's 3. Why 3, you may ask? Well, because I have 3 daughters now, and if I don't stop the timer at 3, something bad will happen to them, stupid! Why else!

11. I do not press the Snooze alarm on clocks, EVER. I insanely HATE when people do that! (Robb, I am talking to you, sir.) Why would you ever want to hear an alarm go off more than once? WHY!!!!??? Ten minute increments of sleep is NOT good quality sleep. It's like oreo sleep- complete crap.

12. I was very good at sports until about 8th grade, when I completely lost interest. I think I could have been an excellent gymnast- I had a natural talent for it. I've never had much of a competitive spirit- I hate that about myself.

13. I lied on an hourly basis during my entire childhood. I think this is common... right?

14. I was tiny, but freakishly strong as a child. I once beat up a boy, when we were in elementary school. I still feel sick when I think about it.

15. My favorite physical features are my hands, and my hair (on a good day.) I don't like my nose, or my post babies disaster of a bellybutton. Also, I'd like to be 3 inches taller, I'm only 5"1.

16. I like hospitals, and loved being in the hospital. Probably because my only experiences in there were for for having babies- good stuff. Oh, and one broken wrist, which was no biggie. I also like getting needles, because I am a freak.

17. I believe in ghosts, spirits, and many things unseen. The whole thing scares the ever loving shit out of me.

18. Things I've collected in the past include Smurf figurines, Archie comics, seashells, scratch 'n sniff stickers, notes from my friends, and my own pencil drawings. Now I mostly collect dirty laundry and dog hair... involuntarily.

19. I am not a gifted singer. I once sang onstage with my cousins' band in a pub in Toronto. I wish I would have been either sober enough not to have done it, or drunk enough not to remember it at all.

20. I would rather sleep than eat. I would rather watch "The Office" than either of those.

OK, that's all.

Sliding Links

Have you seen the movie “Sliding Doors”? This whole blog experience, with all of you excellent, supportive, encouraging, clever characters, reminds me of that movie. The general idea of it is that every single decision or seemingly insignificant move you make impacts your life, and the lives of everyone you encounter, in HUGE, HUGE ways. It’s a wee bit intense and mind blowing to think about too much, but it’s probably true.

All of you who read this, and especially those of you who comment or email me, and your blogs, which I read, affect me. In little ways, you unknowingly influence me in small ways, in how I think about certain things, how I parent, express myself, and you teach me little life lessons that get passed on to my children, family, friends, etc.. It really is amazing, this intimate link that we share, and the way that we’ve all randomly found each other, and formed friendships. How could I ever give that up completely? All of you readers have touched my life in some way. Well, except for you freaks who pop by for 0.8 seconds while googling “slutty stagette lactating tits photos”. You all can keep surfing on your merry, horny, pathetic ways.

But Shane is right, I AM addicted to this blogging thing- so even though I am also addicted to being lazy, and shirking responsibility, I will still be blogging. Maybe not as often, so I can have time to read your blogs too, which is even more fun to me. I think the mass appeal of blogging is our collective need to be heard, understood, and validated. And the older I get, the more I appreciate making real connections with people.

OH GOD, SOMEONE STOP ME, before I start singing Barbra Streisand’s “People”.

But seriously, all of you, thanks.

Five

Tommorrow is our five year wedding anniversary. The traditional gift for 5 years is wood, and the modern version is silverware, so Robb, I hope you enjoy the monogrammed pitchfork I bought you. Happy Anniversary, honey.

Five years ago, on the beach in Mexico, we had the best wedding we've ever been to. It was an amazing week with our family and friends- 35 of our favorite people in the world, and a party that has yet to be matched.

So young, so full of hopes, dreams, and tequila...




One of those moments you never forget. My dad whispered to me, " Shall we take a walk?' and I had to fight back tears.




The ceremony... we think... it was kind of hard to understand her...




You may kiss the bride...




Ignoring common sense, and the risk of hepatitus, we all decided to get something pierced or tatooed.. in a seedy little Mexican tattoo shop.... lord help us...





It seems like the past few months have been hard for us, lots of stupid bickering, not enough sleep, and not enough time and affection left over for each other after the kids have taken their shares. But even now, I feel like we are always on the same team, and are doing pretty well. We've been best friends and lovers for almost seven years, married for five, and have created three glorious little girls together, and I can honestly say that I love you now more than ever. You are still the best person I have ever met in my life, and a gift that I never thought I would be lucky enough to receive. You've changed my heart, and inspired me to become more like the person I want to be. I know we are in this life together, for the long haul- grandbabies, old age, sitting in our Depends, laughing about whose farts smell worse. You are my favorite.

Well, I know I said I'd be posting more in 2007, but I'll probably really be posting less. After my typical first week in January of resolutions, goals, and self evaluation, I've come to terms with the fact that blogging may not be my forte. So I'm giving myself a Get Out of Blog Free card for the year, and I'm going to stop mentally torturing my self with that "Ohgodohgodohgod, I have to do homework dread" feeling over this blog- I've already endured 15 years of that in my childhood. I'm not quitting this blog, because I love the people who read and comment, and I would never sever this link to my family, friends, and internet friends that I've come to adore. But, this blog is not really the creative outlet that I was looking for when I started it- as I seem unable to really open up here, and am much too conscious of my audience, mostly the people I know, who read this. I'm too concerned with not embarassing or offending anyone to talk about the things I want. Instead, I just post blog entries in my mind and never type them out- and what good does that do anyone? I guess I'm too repressed and tight assed and secretive to have an interesting blog. Damn. And to be honest, it burns me to know that I have a boring blog. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock, and a really boring rock. So, I'm going to focus my creative endeavors more towards painting, drawing, and sewing- all things that I love, and have not done enough of in the past few years. I think I may start by sewing a straightjacket for Piper, because GODDAMN. parenting has required a lot of endurance and energy this month. Almost-three-year-olds are wild ponies when coupled with twins who both want to snuggle all the time. I may also have to sew myself some kind of contraption with 3 or 4 extra arms. This morning, Piper quickly stuck her finger in the dog's bum and exclaimed, "POOP, mommy!" as Zak bolted from the room, and thank God I had one hand free to grab her hand a split second before she put it in her mouth, or the universe would have imploded.

Thank god for all the smiles and kisses, or I would be completely mad by now.

I will still be checking in here, and posting when the mood strikes, so keep in touch, my darlings.
Happy New Year.