Sugar & Spice, and please, God, no lice...
I may not be an expert on little girls, but I think that birthing, feeding, and entertaining my 3 daughters for the past three and three quarter years entitles me to occasionally stand on a small, remotely located soapbox.
I have a few friends right now who are pregnant with boys, but this post is aimed more at my friends who are pregnant with, or have just had baby girls. First of all- Congratulations! And secondly, there are a few things that you should know...
1. I've seen your future, and it is pink. You may have strong feelings against this ubergirlie colour, and think that you will not, under any circumstances, dress your beloved child like a bottle of pepto bismol. I can see your point- I've BEEN there, sister. It's cliche, it's boring, and so very predictable. But I don't think that you've thoroughly researched the baby girl clothing market. Believe me when I tell you that the new pink is STILL PINK. Go to Baby Gap, then go to Old Navy, then Zara, Gymboree, and if you can carry your overflowing pink bags any further, drop by H&M. The baby girl clothes, the glorious delicious, irrisistibly tiny garments, they are great with pink, and they will follow you home. Don't feel ashamed, it's not your fault. I blame hormones. (For everything, really.) Also, by the age of three, your daughter will have VERY STRONG opinions on what she wants to wear, and you will consider yourself victorious if she doesn't leave the house wearing only legwarmers and a tiara.
2. You will play princess and pony games. Yes, hahahahahahaaha. Ha. Go ahead and laugh. I'm being ridiculous, right? You have no interest in ponies OR princesses, especially not flying glittery fairy princess ponies and all of their stupid, shiny accessories. Well, enjoy your poniless days while you can, my friend, because they are numbered. Did you know that ponies wear crowns, capes, shoes and necklaces, and need their long hair brushed hourly with their monogrammed, jewel encrusted brushes? WELL THEY DO GODDAMMIT, so get used to it. But what? You would never lower yourself to buy these horrid little plastic creatures, and subject your daughters to such gender stereotypical crap? Oh NO- your daughter will only play sports and puzzles, and IQ raising, interesting games! Shhhhhhhhh.... I know... I know..
I myself have never actually bought a pony or a princess, and yet, my house is completely infested with them. You can't swing a dead pony around here without hitting a princess crown, pony skirt, or a fairy flower ballerina sparkle extravaganza magic wand. You don't even have to go to Toys R Us, I'm TELLING you, if you have little girls living under your roof, the fairy princess ponies will come to you. I don't know exactly how, but I've noticed that the little bastards DO have wings, most of the time. We are getting dangerously close to needing a pony princess exorcism.
3. Your good intention of raising your precious child without letting her eat at McDonald's will probably meet it's demise somewhere between years 3 and 5. Even if you are tenacious and steadfast, so are toddlers after watching 13,000 Happy Meal commercials. And that advertising is so powerful, that even you will inexplicably covet those cheap collectible toys, from the bottom of your subliminally gullible heart, at least once a year. On a related note, you will also feed your child Kraft Dinner a lot more than you ever thought you would. I remember back when I was pregnant for the first time, thinking that I would make all my own babyfood from scratch. "Only the best for my baby!", I thought. I wish I could go back in time and give my old self an atomic wedgie. I'm not saying that you CAN'T raise your children without KD or McD, I'm just saying that you probably WON'T.
4. Little girls will light up your life more than the sun. And from what I've seen and heard, so will little boys. Basically, if you've got a tiny human living in your house, you are already a winner. You may not ever be well rested again, but you're in for a whole lotta joy.
(*DISCLAIMER* The aforementioned opinions are to be taken with a grain of salt. Eve is not a Doctor, or a Psychologist, or a Psychic, or even particularly well read. In fact, she is talking out of her ass a great deal of the time.)
posted by Eve @ 8:48 PM
21 Comments:
Ohhhhhhhh so so very true. Every word.
My sister is having a girl in January and I'm pretty sure she is in denial of what that will involve.
After raising their adorable rough n' tumble boy for 2 years, her husband scoffed at me when I said there's NO CONTROLLING the obsession with princesses or all that is pink.
What's sad is about a year ago I was having this deep, PC conversation about princesses and the horrible message Disney sends little girls. HA. I'm a moron because princesses rule our house, both plastic and real.
About pink, I fought that one a long time. Bella wore lots of coral. My defiance to baby pink. Ava wears every version of pink imaginable :) And both girls have pink Christmas stockings. Gag, if you must, but YOU know.
jenn- Oh, sister friend. I do know. So funny.
Yeah, all pink, all princesses, all ponies, all the time.
ahhhhh "pretty in pink" bring back memories anyone? i on the other hand have a 3 yr old little boy, therefore my home overfloweth with all things Thomas the tank engine and Superman. if you don't wear a red cape or crash off rails you are SO not cool. our baby girl, who is one, has inherited this his love of choo-choo's and when i put her in a dress (a variation of pink) on Thanksgiving she tugged at it like i had placed her in some form of restraint that she must break free. so i guess it depends on who comes first, although i suspect flying sparkle fairy ponies might come in on the rails some day here too.
Eve may not be a doctor or psychologist but she sure as heck knows whereof she speaks. My daughter is now 18 but 15 years ago I was living this post to the 't'.
I love the picture of Piper on the couch.
I have been resisting the PINK as much as possible...but somehow it still appears, and yes, I have tried to buy non-pink girl clothes, and there don't seem to be any.
I didn't wear pink when I was little, however I know my daughter will be inheriting my Pony collection...
After two boys, I welcomed and embraced pink with open arms. My house overfloweth with pink in all shades. Thankfully she is happy with Thomas and matchcars (do they come in pink???) as far as toys go - but since she is only 8 months, I am sure that princess and pony will infiltrate the home too.
I guess I'm alone out here. My 8 year old daughter is NOT obsessed with pink, and she's barely worn it, since she was old enough to pick out her own clothes. Maybe that's how it is for only daughters with older & younger brothers.
With all the testosterone in this house, I'd love for her to be
super frilly, but she's just not.
Wait, she did have a pink soccer ball & pink cleats for a couple of seasons.
~mamaclash
jen
Ah the pink! And Eve....I bought Annabella PINK UGGS! nooooooo!
I swore when I was preg that I would stick to my rebelious nature and ban pink from ever coming into my home and now look what I have become... I am a sell out... At least I still have my tattoos.
thanks for the heads up re:ponies and princesses! we have already caught the pink disease so i will expect the glitter and tiaras to follow shortly!!
It seems to be a worldwide epidemic- this pink pony plague!
Jen- maybe being surrounded by brothers does tone down the hyperpinkness. I think that having 3 girls at once has magnified it in my house, for sure. It's like princess mob mentality.
I was noticing that as well. Very interesting.
Fortunately, my brother turned out manly even though he had two older sisters dripping in pink trying to force him to play with Barbie.
So true, I just had my 5th girl (and they have one brother!) and we have A LOT of pink, and guess what Courtney our newest baby just got a pink and white unicorn! It is a first in this house!
I could do with a little pinkness and tiaras around here, but alas, there is too much testosterone here with my 2 boys...although, Sid points out frilly pink things and baby dolls in flyers and asks if I would like that for Christmas, since I am a girl...and I like pink. I also have a tiara myself.
Too funny!
Yeah, I can see Carmen hopping on the pink bandwagon. I bought blocks and cars but she can't help but push that pink baby stroller with the pink baby doll in it all over the house. Don't have any ponies or princesses, but I'm sure they'll be clip-clopping up the sidewalk any day now.
Hell, even I am wearing pink now.
1. i'm a frickin' redhead (most of the time) and i SWORE UP AND DOWN that no child of mine would wear a colour that i can't even get near my skin, never mind on my body and LO AND BEHOLD what SHINETH FORTH from my daughter's closet??!! PINK in all of it's glorious forms. And DAMMIT if she doesn't look AMAZING in pink.
2. sadie is odd ... she likes dinosaurs and colouring (usually pictures of dinosaurs). but then again, she is not yet five. plus she has a brother. perhaps the boy genes are the mitigating factor in this one? i mean, her aunt gave her a veritable toy box FULL TO THE BRIM with 'My Little Ponies' (and all accompanying junk) and sadie rarely touches them except to dress them in her socks (I have no idea) and put them to bed.
3. My kids also eat a hell of a lot more hotdogs than I thought humanly possible. I mean, I HATE KD AND hotdogs (I kind of like McD's ... but don't tell anyone) and my kids STILL eat that shit at least once a week. PLUS? They have pb&j at least three times a week. (shhhh ... don't tell my mom)
4. you're so right
1. Love your blog.
2. I have a 5-year-old girl and the obsession with pink and princesses is dangerous. Literally. Like the tiny princess shoes and bouquets and tiara are the baby's favorite food. The obsession is also catching, as my very rowdy 3-year-old twin boys are obsessed with being pretty, and get into her make-up whenever her room is unattended.
3. I also found out I was having twins at my 20-week ultrasound! What a crazy ride!
4. Again, love you blog!
Hi, Eve. I stumbled over here via MurrayVile Moms, and had to laugh about your pony infestation. My 3yo *used* to wear homemade plaid punker pants with black turtlenecks and little ~insert colour other than pink or purple here~ dresses. Now, it looks like Barbie threw up all over my house. I had two boys first, and was initially upset about having a girl. You know, pink kinda grows on ya, in a joyful kinda way. And for those of you who think stepping on Hotwheels and Legos hurts, wait'll ya step on one of them thar jewel encrusted flying princess sparkle fart pony brushes...
Hi Eve
I forgot to visit you for a long time! And then ticblog above was posting about pink and frou frou and ponies and all things girls and it lead to your post! I live this life...uh uh....with a little bit of lego and hotwheels stuck to the bottom of my foot.
Thanks for the great laugh!
I took some pictures special for you, Eve. (I can never remember how to post an active link...)
http://ticdesign.blogspot.com/2008/01/ponypalooza-and-faeriejane-for-eve-and.html
AND - the girls have pink Hotwheels and Lego...
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home