Lately, I've been thinking about how glad I am to be a woman living in 2005, rather than 50 or 100 years ago- if only for the child birthing options and medical technology we enjoy today. I've spoken with my mom, mother-in-law, and other mothers of their generation about their birthing experiences, and we have come a LONG way, baby. I don't know if I would have survived what they had to go through to bring babies into this world, bless their brave, tolerant, field-crouching hearts.
My mom gave birth in a brutal military hospital/torture chamber that seemed to be staffed by the minions of hell, wearing white uniforms. She had my sister and I via caesarian sections, and was knocked out cold for about 4 days each time. She was kept completely unconscious, unable to meet her babies, unable to speak, walk, or be a mommy to her babies. When she awoke, her entire arms were black and blue from God-knows-what kind of shots they were giving her to keep her in the virtual coma. If she had tried to stand and walk during that time, I'm quite sure they would have hobbled her like that poor sucker in "Misery". And you should SEE the c-section scar she has. It is a puckered vertical line that looks like it was cut with a plastic knife from McDonalds. (My c-section "scar" is invisible.) Also- she was given the impression by the nurses that she would not be able to breastfeed, since she'd had a c-section. HUH???? I breastfed for 14 months after mine. I believe they kept her in the hospital for a few weeks, which was probably how long it took to recover from the barbaric treatment she'd gotten there.
My mother-in-law has told me some stories of strange things that had happened to her as well. With one of her 3 babies, she must have had placenta previa, which was not detected in advance back then, as they didn't have the ultrasound technology we have today. So when she went into labour, there was MUCH BLEEDING, which we now know is very dangerous and possibly life threatening for a mom and baby. After she'd had one of her babies, they wrapped her chest tightly in bandages for several days, as she was not planning on breastfeeding, as apparently, they were "helping" her milk to not come in.. or something. Another friend of hers had a spinal tap in preparation for her c-section. She was told that her spinal fluid had leaked out, so she was bound to her bed in the hospital for 10 days, like a violent mental patient, unable to move, while her body replenished its spinal fluid. At least, that is what she was told- who KNOWS what the hell was really happening or why. All I know is that I am VERY grateful that I don't ever have to be treated like Frankenstein the way those women were.
I know that things are not perfect today, but at least we as women have more CHOICES. We are even encouraged to have a birthing plan, (even though we can't always control exactly how things will happen.) We are educated about what our options are, and information is more readily available for us regarding childbirth methods, pain relief options, c-sections, nutrition, developmental abnormalities, health issues, breast/formula feeding, parenting, post partum depression, and any other questions we have about what happens to our bodies and our babies throughout the entire process. Medical professionals need our permission today to cut open or tie up our bodies, and we have a right to know what is happening, and why. We can say "no". We can give birth at home, we can breastfeed, formula feed, or give birth wearing a Spiderman costume in a cave if our little hearts desire. And if we happen to encounter a rude assclown of a doctor or nurse who makes us feel like cattle being herded through the hospital, humiliated, intimidated, or makes us feel like we are inconveniencing them by asking for help or information, we can request a more human doctor or nurse. There is usually someone else who can help. We don't have to put up with idiots if we are willing to stand up for ourselves. Because they are working for US, not the other way around, and we can demand proper treatment. Sometimes that can be difficult, especially if it's your first baby, and you are just dazed and overwhelmed by the whole experience, or just so delirious from pain that you can't tell what the hell is going on. But we can try. I think having a good support person (husband, friend, family member, doula, midwife, etc.) whom you know and trust there with you is important- someone who knows your wishes, and will help you accomplish them. And make sure you choose a Doctor you like as well.
Child birth should be a beautiful experience for a family, and mothers deserve to be pampered and as comfortable as possible. So, for any new mom to be about to go into labour- don't be afraid to ask for help or options or explanations! It is your right to be treated well, and it is your choice how your baby is treated as well. Don't be intimidated or bullied into doing anything you are not comfortable with! I read
this about a woman who recieved a needless "honeymoon stitch" without her permission, and it just makes me livid!!! I'd like to give that jerk of a midwife a little whipstitch in
her vagina and see how she feels about it. Idiot. Then maybe a few stitches in her mouth, to keep those stupid comments from spewing out.
I was lucky in my birth experience to have wonderful doctors and nurses around me, along with an incredibly supportive husband, helping me though the experience, and making my daughter's birth a wonderful occasion. After labouring for 5 hours, I ended up having an emergency c-section, since my umbilical cord had wrapped around my baby's neck as she was lowering into the birth canal. But thanks to their quick operating, she was born safely, and my recovery was fast and easy. My stay in the hospital lasted 2 days, and was pleasant and relaxing, and I walked out of there feeling healthy and strong, with my perfect, healthy, and beautiful daughter in tow. I wish the same for all of you lovely moms to be out there.
